What’s the Story?
Years ago, I heard Pastor and Leadership expert, Andy Stanley, ask a question that changed the way I think about hard moments:
“When this situation is only a story you’re retelling years from now, what’s the story you want to tell?”
That question has stayed with me for years and I’ve shared it with countless friends, clients, and leaders I’ve coached. Because let’s be honest: when life gets hard, when emotions run high, when we’re frustrated or hurt or tempted to take control, our decisions can easily fall out of alignment with who we want to be.
We react.
We defend.
We grasp for control.
And in doing so, we often write a story we’ll later wish we could rewrite.
Perspective Changes Everything
This question invites us to zoom out and to see beyond the urgency of the moment and into the integrity of our future.
When I pause long enough to ask myself, “What story do I want to tell?” it helps me reset my focus.
It helps me act, not react.
It helps me choose integrity over impulse.
It helps me protect who I’m becoming, not just what I’m feeling.
From Emotion to Intention
When emotions settle and time passes, the moment that feels impossible today will become just a story, one you’ll tell your kids, your friends, your colleagues.
Ask yourself:
When I look back on this situation, what do I want to say happened?
What role do I want to play in it?
How do I want to say I responded?
What actions do I need to take today that will align with the story I want to tell tomorrow?
Because every choice we make is shaping the story of who we’re becoming in our relationships, our leadership, and our life.
A Final Thought
Hard moments don’t define us, our responses do.
And the beauty is, you get to choose your story before it’s written.
So next time you’re in the middle of a hard season, take a breath, zoom out, and ask:
When this is just a story, what do I want to say happened?
Then, aligned your actions accordingly.
