It’s Your Choice
Have you ever heard the phrase, “Emotion is energy in motion”?
Think about that for a moment.
Our emotions create energy and that energy moves somewhere.
It moves into our words.
Our tone.
Our body language.
Our decisions.
And ultimately, how other people experience us.
Yet so often, we hand over our peace and our power without even realizing it.
We grumble.
We blame.
We complain.
We say, “They made me so mad.”
“They ruined my day.”
“They really upset me.”
But did they?
Or did something happen that stirred an emotion in us and then we allowed that emotion to take over?
The Power of Awareness
There is an important difference between feeling an emotion and letting an emotion lead us.
We are going to feel angry. Frustrated. Disappointed. Hurt. Overwhelmed. That’s part of being human.
The problem isn’t the emotion.
The problem is when we unknowingly hand the emotion our power and allow it to choose how we show up.
And sometimes, the person who shows up in those moments isn’t the person we want to be.
Pay Attention to Your Energy in Motion
Maybe one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves isn’t simply:
How am I feeling?
But:
What is my energy doing to the people around me?
Are people leaning in or bracing?
Do they feel safe enough to speak honestly, or are they carefully choosing their words?
Does my energy create calm or tension? Openness or defensiveness? Connection or distance?
Because our emotions may happen within us, but the energy they create rarely stays there.
Other people experience it.
Our teams experience it.
Our spouses experience it.
Our children, friends, families, and coworkers experience it.
That’s why self-awareness matters.
Know Who You Become
Start paying attention to the version of yourself that shows up when your emotions get big.
Who do you become when you’re frustrated?
Do you get louder?
Do you talk faster?
Do you become sharp or dismissive?
Do you shut down?
Do you become defensive?
Do you need to prove your point?
Do you try to control the room?
And perhaps most importantly: Do you like who you become?
If the answer is no, that awareness isn't something to feel ashamed of.
It’s information.
And information gives us the opportunity to do something differently.
Don't Just Notice It. Plan for It.
Self-awareness without a strategy only gets us so far.
If we know certain situations tend to bring out a version of ourselves we don't particularly like, why would we continue walking into those situations without a plan?
Maybe you’re a leader who knows that when you care deeply about something, you can speak a little too passionately in meetings.
You’ve seen people brace.
You’ve noticed the room get quieter.
You know your intention is passion but you’re beginning to recognize that your impact can feel very different.
So create a tactic.
Bring a notepad into the meeting.
When you feel yourself getting activated, write down what you want to say instead of immediately saying it.
Give yourself a moment.
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said right now?
And if it does, how can you say it in a way that reflects the leader you want to be?
The same is true at home.
Maybe you and your spouse, partner, child, or friend agree on a simple physical cue. When you feel your emotions beginning to take over, rub your hands together. Take a breath. Put both feet on the floor. Step away for a moment.
The specific tactic matters less than what it represents:
I recognize what is happening inside me, and I am choosing what happens next.
That is where we begin taking our power back.
Decide Before the Moment Arrives
We spend a lot of time trying to manage ourselves in difficult moments.
But what if we got better at preparing for them?
If you already know that a certain person, conversation, environment, or situation tends to activate something in you, don't wait until you're in the middle of it to decide how you want to respond.
Plan for it.
Ask yourself:
What will I do when I feel it coming?
What will remind me of who I want to be?
What strategy can I put in place before the emotion arrives?
That is emotional maturity.
Not never getting angry.
Not suppressing what we feel.
Not pretending everything is fine.
It is learning to recognize our energy in motion and choosing where we want it to go.
Because we cannot always control what happens around us.
We cannot control what someone says, how they behave, or what they bring into the room.
But we can become more intentional about what happens within us and what we send back out into the world.
Our emotions are ours.
Our energy is ours.
Our response is ours.
And so is the choice of who we become in the moment.
